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This year represents a ten-year milestone since the word “ghosting” hit the mainstream. Initially, the concept that someone could instantly end communication with a lover without explanation seemed like the peak of rudeness. Our innocence was charming. In the 10 years since, finding a mate has only become more bewildering – an frequently fruitless pursuit in humiliation that is increasingly pigeonholed by online lingo.

Gen Z, a demographic who came of age during a social isolation crisis, a masculinity crisis, and a concerted challenge on the rights of women and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a infinitely more complex landscape than their millennial forerunners could ever envision. And so their romantic glossary has grown longer and more unhinged, with expressions like “Ogre-ing” and “monkey branching” pushing the limits of your mental fortitude.

Below is a detailed breakdown to the words this generation is using to discuss romance, intimacy and the search of both. To paraphrase one of the recent most popular online sayings, by the end of this glossary you’ll ache to get back to a bygone era – because where that is, it is free from “wokefishing”.

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The Letter A

Genuineness – In the view of gen Z, romance's ultimate goal is presenting as your true, unfiltered self. Good luck with that!

The Letter B

Feathered friend test – A online phenomenon inspired by a test developed by relationship scientists, in which you point out something trivial – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and observe whether your partner’s reply is engaged or dismissive. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Independent partner – Gen Z’s answer to the “manic pixie dream girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but rather than having short fringe, liking The Smiths and avoiding commitment, the mysterious partner puts herself first while exuding mystery and independence. (She could possibly have that fringe.)

C

Chair theory – This means seeking out someone who helps you proactively. If you entered a room, they would get a seat for you to sit down.

Task-based bonding – A meet-up where two people bond while doing chores, such as walking the dog or food shopping. In other words, how financially strained people in their 20s do budget-friendly romance in a inflation-era world.

Emotional spiral – Having a breakdown when you feel swamped by life. You can crash out over a infatuation or breakup, spilling all of your (unrequited) emotions.

The Letter D

DINK – Dual income no kids. Once a symbol of 80s yuppie excess, it refers to pairs who opt out of parenthood to focus on their own happiness. Or because they cannot afford to become parents.

E

Open communication – The antithesis of being guarded: embracing communication, transparency and vulnerability.

F

Indicators

• Warning signs – Behavioral habits signaling a potential partner is not right. Such as calling their exes unstable, bad gratuity habits, a love of Woody Allen films, a nascent DJ career …
• Green flags – These traits confirm your choice to date a partner. Examples include checking in to make sure you got home safe after a date, low screen time, owning a proper bed …
• Beige flags – These usually describe niche, mostly inoffensive idiosyncrasies. Examples include being an enthusiastic ornithologist, still keeping a biro in their wallet, paying the rent in physical money …

Niche bonding – When you connect with someone who’s just as passionate about documentaries about the second world war or physical media hoarding or collaging or anything it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, finding someone who hates the same stuff or people that you do (few things builds intimacy faster than having a common enemy).

G

Geese – A band your gen Z boyfriend is into.

Ghostlighting – Someone who resurfaces into your life after a length of disappearing.

Golden retriever boyfriend – Someone who is affable, accommodating and devoted. The rare partner who is liked by all of his partner’s friends, and a mysterious partner's opposite.

Gooners – A mostly online community of men so obsessed with masturbation that they attempt extended sessions, deliberately postponing orgasm so they can go on as long as possible.

The Letter H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A phenomenon describing many women's increasing despair toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

High-value woman – An ideal touted by manosphere figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, nurturing and contentedly domestic, who seemingly has no goals of her own other than pleasing her man partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to understand the whole “pessimism” thing better?

I

Ick factors – Random and often mundane dealbreakers that instantly shut down any feelings of interest.

“He would if he cared" – Something to remember after you watch someone else receive an extremely thoughtful display.

J

Professions – These have not been this important in the romance landscape since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “banker” is the ultimate partner: a preppy, conservative-leaning guy who will provide (there’s a hit TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd seek out partners in fields they see as being staffed by the more emotionally available among us: nurses, educators or therapists.

The Letter K

Kissing – This year, scientists learned that kissing has existed for 16 million years. But the era of locking lips may be waning since some gen Z prefer fewer intimate scenes in movies, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find cinematic intimacy authentic.

Light catfishing – Catfishing-lite. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using older (better) photos of yourself on a online profile, or making your career sound more important than it is. Also known as {